Off-Season Q and A with Colts President Bill Polian

With his team entering what promises to be a turbulent off-season, Indianapolis Colts President Bill Polian took to the airwaves to fire some missives at the flawed rules that cost his team a Super Bowl title.

"Something's just got to be done," says Polian, "I mean, when you have guys kicking onside kicks in the third quarter, that's just not right."

What do you mean by that?

"It's cheap. Really cheap. It diminishes the game, it diminishes the league, and it robs more deserving players, like Peyton Manning, from a title. I mean, he plays a mistake-free game, but his teammates and O-Line just did not show up. I'm not one for hyperbole, but I don't believe that Jesus Christ Himself could have played a better game at quarterback with such a leaky line."

But hasn't the line been elite for nearly every year of Manning's career? They never gave up a sack in the Super Bowl?

"Doesn't matter."

I'm sorry?

"It really doesn't matter. Anyone who lays the blame on Manning for this game knows nothing about football. I mean, Peyton is five steps ahead of everyone. His momma hadn't even popped him out of the womb, and he was already tasting that sweet, sweet milk. That's the type of person he is, that's the type of player he is. So he doesn't make mistakes. That interception was clearly Reggie Wayne's fault. It had nothing to do with being predictable, Wayne ran the wrong route and we know this because Peyton made a point to go over and lecture him in front of CBS' cameras."

Haven't the Colts run that play a lot this year? And didn't Manning look rattled and off-target even before he threw the interception?

"That's beside the point, and that's a bush league question. Peyton doesn't make mistakes, period. It was BS in 2003 and 2004 when the Patriots manhandled our poor, valiant receivers, that had nothing to do with Peyton. Same for 2005 with our poor protection. So, no, he didn't look rattled, he looked like a quarterback whose team had quit on him. He didn't underthrow that pass to the sideline, he decided at the last moment that that is where the pass needed to go. Did I mention that Pierre Garcon dropped a perfectly thrown ball?"

No, you didn't. But remember, Marques Colston had a similarly bone-headed drop in the first hall, so the plays basically nullify.

"That's where you are wrong. Peyton is too good not to capitalize on that would-be completion. I don't think the Saints had the offensive talent to make good on that. You can only be so lucky."

So, you believe that luck brought New Orleans a Super Bowl?

"Of course! Like I said, with Peyton Manning, either the other teams lucky or there are some bad rules for him to lose. So, I'm going to be harping on the league like crazy, just like I did after the 2004 season, to get these changed."

What do you mean, 'changed'?

"Well, on that Garcon drop, he got jacked at the line."

That's legal.

"It shouldn't be."

But you were vociferous in your desire to emphasize the five-yard contact threshold, were you wrong in the past?

"No, I wasn't wrong. I just didn't realize that it was wrong until I saw how flawed the reasoning was in action."

So, you are on record as saying that you are okay with changing the rules on the fly if it helps your team?

"Yes. I know how that sounds, but Peyton is just other-worldly. The games should just be a formality. When he loses, something's wrong."

So that 9-9 record is misleading?

"Of course, I'm not saying he should be 18-0, but..."

I see. Well, do you at least want to congratulate the New Orleans Saints?

"I'm still looking at the tape on this one. I guess I'm happy for the people of New Orleans, but they can't hold a candle to our fans."

But it seems like Colts fans are only content if the team wins. Weren't there only 11 people waiting for the team at the airport? Which contrasts sharply with New Orleans, who had planned a parade win or lose?

"Look, we bleed blue. That should speak for itself."

Any final thoughts, Mr. Polian?

"I just would like to summarize my goals for the off-season: Eliminate the onside kick in the first three quarters, move the five-yard contact rule back four yards, and give the quarterback a flag-like object to stick in his pocket so he doesn't have to get hit."

Flag football, Mr. Polian? Is that because Manning looks very human once he gets even the slightest bit of contact?

"No, it's just more fair. We know that Colts fans are the most polite, smartest, God-fearing people, so the Colts Way will always be the fair way.

Thank you, Mr. Polian.

"Thank you."